Invisible

I'm a nobody with a dream to be somebody. A figure that matters, an inspiration of some sort. To be extraordinary, living my life to its fullest. When I'm gone, I want to leave a mark, a legacy even. But that is difficult especially if your presence can't be seen, heard or felt by the ones around you.

It's terrible sometimes, being in a situation so awkward and tense, even up till the point where you feel as though your soul has evaporated into thin air, and you're just a combination of bones, in a crowd of living souls.

Up to this point, is where I can feel my throat choking back the sobs that are about to tell the world I am in pain.

Because clearly, I am visible, but painfully ignored.

Truth is, everyone wants to feel wanted. Like i mentioned, I want the world to see me.  Every crowd I join, I put it effort to be a little more outgoing. Say a little more and people will notice me, is what I tell myself. But time and time again, it is the same outcome, utterly useless.

Then, that is when society starts to tell you "Stop trying, and soon enough, they'll see you"

Well that is an overstatement. If you don't try, NO ONE will know you exist. And even if you do try, it doesn't change a thing. What am i to do, if I was born with a quiet mouth, and an average look?

The reality is that if you're not pretty, no one will see you. If you're not loud, no one will hear you. If you don't have a cracking, out of this world personality, no one will hang out with you.

Unlucky for some, we weren't born with those gifts. In the end, our best comeback would mean we still have to try to fit in. But it's painful because nobody sees the struggle except yourself. Nobody will understand how tough it is to be outspoken when you are not comfortable with it. Nobody will understand when you tell them you feel invisible. No one will understand when you tell them to not dump you aside at a party you didn't want to go in the first place.

Nobody will understand an introvert's struggle to become visible, and wanted.

What an irony, though, isn't it? Aren't introverts supposed to feel comfortable being invisible?

To me, it has always been a personal conflict. On one hand, I live to make a change in this world, And I want to be noticed in that process. But how do I make a change, if I was born with a personality so boring and un-extraordinary that no one will give me a chance to begin with?