Chasing Dreams.

"Just go for it. Chase your dreams. Don't stop believing" blah blah blah

Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it? Especially since those words come from singers, actors, Steve Jobs, Youtubers or just people, in general, who are having a much better life than we are. But even after hearing them, we are all left with the same reaction. Some inspired, some just dumbfounded. Yet we question the same thing. How did they do it? Why can't I? Or more optimistically, when will I?

I am a dreamer. And I have never stopped wondering.

Recently, I've been looking at old videos of my first concert by We The Kings. Many may not be familiar with who they are or how good their music is. I won't be the judge of that, knowing that my taste is rather "mainstream" so I'll let you decide.

My point of today's post is figuring out how a group of 5 lame dorky guys, who's initial intention of writing music was to attract girls, manage to land a sell out concert in a country they have never been to. And how incredible it is to think that their music has travelled oceans and continents to touch the hearts of strangers they didn't even know existed.

How did they do it?

Passion and hard work.

Hard work, a phrase as kids we never liked to hear. Passion? A word that signifies a strong desire to do something we love.

It is common knowledge that talent and hard work goes hand in hand. One without the other, is a recipe for failure. And I disagree. Talent, in fact, shouldn't even be in the equation. Frankly, I would never trust talent to chase my dreams for me. Evidently, in the end, hard work is the one who does all the dirty work.

Passion, on the other hand, is what keeps us from quitting. I say this because passion carries a much deeper meaning than talent. Passion, I learnt, means doing everything in our power to keep our dreams well and alive. Passion, not only the act of conquering what we want, but also, protecting that desire even if it means, putting ourselves on the line just to do what we love.

I've seen friends who had no talent succeed because they had passion and the will to work tirelessly and selflessly. An enormous amount of determination that paved their rocky path to success.

If there was anything I learned from that concert it was that there is never an easy road to a place worth going. Just like what the lead singer said "Life wasn't easy as a child, but it is fucking amazing now" and so I conclude today's entry.

We all have dreams and we want to live it. Instead of wasting time wondering how they did it, it's probably time to figure out how you'll achieve yours.

Love,
K.W

Never Not Invisible

Call me invisible.

Yes, go ahead and say it to my face. And sure you can laugh about how difficult it is for me to "put myself out there" or make a funny comment. 

I wish I could laugh too and pretend that my feelings weren't hurt at all, but that's not true. 

I become rather vulnerable when it comes to socialising and knowing that's not my greatest trait I will feel hurt when someone mocks my weakness. Of course, you may say I'm sensitive. And maybe I am But that's just me.

Also, I don't do funny comments or goofy faces or hilarious jokes or instantly become friends with someone over the mutual love for Game Of Thrones. 

I don't belong in any category, really. If that's how we like to be called these days. We all belong to one, inadvertently. It's either the group of girls who gossip about every possible reality show and unsurprisingly are living in one themselves, or the gaming group, or the gym buds, or even the group who's up for crazy ideas every minute of the day. I don't belong anywhere. And trying to fit in to any one of those is tough. I have a fair amount of knowledge on Keeping Up with The Kardashians but I don't fancy talking about them. I enjoy watching movies and reading novels but I haven't read everything in this world. I like being around fun-loving, positive, goofy people, but I will never be as crazy as they are. I just wasn't born for it. 

I know myself in and out and I have to admit, I'm nothing but a people-pleaser. I will do anything to impress those around me. In fact, I can't remember a time where I didn't feel the need to do something extraordinary to prove my worth. Even the best of me will never be enough to cover up the fact that I have always been and will be, that person who's boring and invisible. 

Just be yourself, they say. 

Well, this IS me. I'm not full of fun facts, neither am I in the slightest bit creative. I'm not skilled in anything. All I know is to sit behind a laptop and type, hoping someone out there can hear my non-existent voice.

Now that you've seen all of me, will you still hang around and be my friend or are you going to be like everyone else who knew me for a second and pretended we never met? I am myself, aren't I? 

But no, deep down I know, this isn't who I am. Who I am is greater than what I choose to show. It's just a pity that no one stays long enough to see the real me. 

One day, my voice will be bold enough that you can't ignore me. One day, you're gonna wish you knew me as a friend rather than a bare acquaintance. One day, you'll see me and you're gonna think to yourself "How the hell did I miss that?"

K.W

Yours Truly

A couple of days ago, I came across this silly wish list I wrote back when I was 14. I had a good laugh at some of the things I said, like how I badly wanted cats and how I wanted to only marry a certain someone.

For some reason, I recalled laughing hysterically at the latter and also saying "Oh my god, what the fuck was I thinking. So I decided it would be a good idea to write a reply to my fourteen year old self, telling her Mr. Perfect 2010 was not so perfect after all and that she now hates cats with a passion. 

1)so...i wish my results this end of year is going to be full of As..i really wish that i can go 3/1 next year...hahaha its very hard for me but i will try my hardest and bestest!!i dun want my mum or dad telling me that i shouldn’t give excuses or saying that i haven’t tried my best...*sigh* life is so hard...

2) I want to be known for something i’m good at...I want people to envy me..i’m not trying to get popular or anything but i just want to be known for who i am and what i’m good at. Look at patricia,she’s so good in art,i envy her...so much in fact.she was born with the talent to draw so well... and look at me..yeah fine i can dance but among ten people only 3 knows that i actually dance other than that i’m just another follower sarah can present and sing,nona can sing and act..me nothing...

3) i want to be a tv host when i grow up,i know i’m not pretty enough but i want to try...it seems so fun being in front of a camera entertaining the whole world.although you have to be interesting and funny to get people’s attention,but i want to give it a shot..

4) i wish daddy would buy me cats for my birthday

5)i wish that Patrick would love me..somehow..two years already,nothing happened..i’m actually so surprised that i’m not giving up on him...

6)i wish to be a princess in my next life :D

7)i wish for world peace

8) I wish I was much taller :]

9)i like fantasising about fairyland!

10) I kind of want to be a racing driver when I grow up.

11) hah I just read this over again, and I’ve accomplished no 1 yay!!! Oh yeah I’m listening to ke$ha now… and I realize her songs are autotuned.

12) Gosh, Beiber sounds like a girl. My next wish is to 4/1 next year. I wanna score well for AMaths, and chemistry. MUST MUST.

13) Hey Kimmy, this is you two years after this document was written. And I just want to say, your English was terrible, I’m so glad we had that drastic improvement. Can you believe it we’re going to Salford University to do Creative Writing! And you should be grateful we achieved at least two of your wishes. You got into 3/1 and 4/1 after all and secondary school turned out awesome. You met great friends and even better friends in college, you would be so proud being in my position now. 

He didn’t love you back sadly. But that’s okay. And to tell you the truth, even though it’s been 2 years, you’re still not completely over him. You still think of him occasionally but not as much as you used to. He still appears in your dreams every once in a while when you least expect it, which is refreshing, at least you’re not up all night thinking about him. We weren't dumped. We pinned up false hopes for ourselves and that was the greatest disappointment of all. How I wish I could go back in time and stop you from leading yourself on. He only saw you as a classmate, nothing more than that. Although he did find our constant pursuit quite attractive but I guess that’s just what he says when he needs an ego booster. He’s a good guy Kimmy, just not the right one for us. I finally had the confession I wanted. I told him everything, how we felt so foolish to be running around, wearing our hearts on our sleeves. And like a gentleman, he heard me out, which I very much appreciated. But don’t get me wrong, just because he acknowledged our feelings, it doesn’t change his. We’re still nothing but acquaintances to him. I guess you could say we ended whatever we had on good terms. I no longer feel the sudden urge to speak to him like I used to. I moved on. It took ages and it was painful but very worth it. My heart aches when I read our old messages. And unfortunately for you, you will have to deal with this sooner. 

Kimberly Sarah Walker, you always used to think not many people loved you but let me tell you this for a fact, it is true, we never had the good looks or bubbly personality to pass off as prom queen or Ms. Popular with a hot boyfriend. But I learned, we must never measure our self worth according to the number of Instagram likes we have.  We are indeed loved by a few, but the love of a few are the most sincere and genuine and that is all you need for now. It’s kept me going and I’m doing great. We don’t need a boyfriend to fill our empty hearts, they were filled with greatness and courage all along. Although it wouldn’t hurt to have a beau once in a while, but soon you will realise that it would hurt more to start a relationship when you are not ready for one yourself.

You are bold and independent. You don’t need a man to keep your life interesting. You have the dreams of a naïve 5 year old and people will laugh at your efforts for trying to change the world. But you tell them this, you have the undying passion of Michelangelo, who suffered just to paint a fucking ceiling, you have the courage and consistency of Barack Obama, who against all odds became the first black President. Every idea seems stupid to those who don’t believe in it. And you my friend, are a believer. And because you believe, you inspire, you pursue and in due time, you will achieve.

Whenever you’re feeling worthless, just remember these words. Take a leap of faith, you never know where you might land. They have been helpful to me and to you too, in the years to come.

We're unstoppable Kimmy. I believe in myself and you should too, soon. 

PS. We fucking hate cats. World peace is bullshit. There's people getting beheaded somewhere in the Middle East, which is basically how we deal with things nowadays. And seriously fairyland? Grow some balls, you're not 5. You suck at go-karting too, so racing driver is a definite no. 

So there you go, an original, unedited letter from yours truly.  

New Beginnings Part 2

Unlike the usual deep, emotional posts, today I'm taking you through the longest Sunday I have ever experienced in my WHOLE GODDAMN life.

First of all, departure from Singapore was a bittersweet one. I received farewell letters from a couple of close friends and yes, I was crying to myself in the airport, like a typical loner that I am. But I am also truly grateful. Just when I thought I was losing track of where I was headed and why I came here to do this, I was reminded by their kind words again. In my mind, it has always been "me against the world". I told myself that I will make my big dreams happen even when no one believes in me. But to my surprise, I'm not the only one on this journey. I have friends who has been through hell with me, I have parents who has seen the worst of me and now that I have made it here, I'm not gonna let them down. As cheesy as this sounds, I will promise to make you guys proud. I'm not going to hang around invisibly anymore. I'm going to do something for myself and it helps tremendously, knowing that I'm never alone. So from the bottom of my fat heart, thanks guys.

I don't really intend to talk about my flight because it was annoyingly long and uncomfortable. Which by the way, on a scale of 1 to 10, X Men : Days of Future Past was a 6. And after 17 torturous hours on air, we finally landed in Manchester. Oh not to mention the 90 minutes in the immigration, that was indeed SO fun. Getting a terrible back ache from queuing up, yeap, the total highlight of my trip.

Anyway, down to the serious shit. I was frightened the minute I stepped out of the airport. In fact, frightened was an understatement. I was just really, really petrified. I was never a person who had problems adapting to different situations, therefore I did not see my mental breakdown coming at all.

As we were driving on the highway, I noticed that their distance was measured by miles and yards, instead of kilometers and meters. That was when the reality of change hit me. First of all, I have no idea how many miles is one kilometer, how do I expect myself to be able to mould and fit into a society that is so different from where I come from. I was brought up in busy cities, and seeing that Manchester has so much space to live and breathe, it felt both relieving and uneasy. If I adapted to their way of life, I feared I would be slowing myself down and I never want to do that. So it was a huge mix of emotions this afternoon, and it bothered me so much, I lost my mood for everything. I barely ate or spoke, I said no to so many things and the negative thoughts I had about this place never stopped haunting me.

I'm not going to lie but this afternoon, I was ready to post about how much I feared life in Salford. Then I thought, why is it that everything I say have to be so negative. So instead, I went out for a walk. And just then, everything changed.

Take a look at how breathtaking this place is.

Salford Quays is stunningly beautiful. It's astonishing and inspiring. As you can see from the last picture, my university is sandwiched between the BBC and ITV.

For almost a year, my brain was dead. I had no knowledge whatsoever and I haven't solved a calcus problem since. When I took in all that was happening around me, I felt awaken. It's a great environment for me, it stimulates the creativity my brain (Like i have any lol) and for once, I could not wait to start university.

Oh and for the Man United fans out there, you really need to add visiting Old Trafford to your bucket list. I don't care how crap they are now, but Old Trafford is terrific. This shit right here, is amazing.

I didn't get to go inside, but I am definitely doing so the next time I come here.

Anyway, thats the end of my incredibly long Sunday. If you have read everything, I sincerely thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me, when people read what I write, even when it has no relation to their lives whatsoever.

Alright fellas, tomorrow is a big day because I'm moving in with my new roommates. It's kinda exciting, I think Im gonna chest bump her when I see her, I hope she doesn't mind though.

With love from my bloodshot eyes and I,
K.W

20 Incredible Facts About Me.

Seriously, I spent ages coming up with this. It's so bloody incredible, get ready to be mind blown.

1) I hate mushrooms. I think they look like leeches, taste and smell like rotten gum.

2) I love cucumbers. I won't bother explaining why I like eating them because no matter how I say it, it will sound perverted and sickening.

3) I've been told I look like Demi Lovato or Rachel McAdams. Best compliments ever even though I can only dream of looking half as beautiful as them. Plus, it's really amazing what Instagram filters can do these days.

4) I want to be a scriptwriter, or a writer of any sort.

5) One day, I hope to host the Oscars. I don't care if I'm single with 27 cats, that is truly my one and only life goal.

6) I would consider myself ambitious.

7) Chicks Before Dicks is my motto. Yes, girls night out over date night any day.

8) Then again, movie night with myself beats girls night out too.

9) I enjoy solitude. I have no qualms with eating lunch alone.

10) However, I do like hanging out with good friends. I'm kinda an intro-extrovert person.

11) I read my horoscope every morning. I believe in fate, reading signs and that there's a man above who controls everything.

12) In relation to that, my favourite movie would be The Adjustment Bureau. Go watch it.

13) I've never watched a horror movie, I probably never will.

14) Hashtag Beyhive. I worship Beyonce. I think her sass is so powerful, it could achieve world domination.

15) I fell asleep while watching The Notebook. Twice. Don't get what is all the fuss about that movie.

16) I tend to relate human faces to animals. And if I don't tell you what animal you look like, it's probably not a cute one.

17) I like watching random movies on Youtube. That is the main cause of my lack of sleep.

18) I can fall sleep anywhere. Upside down on the couch, next to the fridge or in my back yard. Literally.

19) I swim a lot. I would like to be a pool mermaid. I don't fancy swimming in the sea though.

20) The only sport I watch is Formula 1. Been Alonso's fan since I was 7?

21) I secretly like eating salads. I would have no problems being a vegetarian.

22) I don't comb or brush my hair. Because they look better that way.

23) I don't know how to use make up. They look like a colourful palette of crayons to me.

24) I am both messy and organised at the same time. I throw my clothes everywhere but I enjoy filing my documents.

25) I won a bronze medal just by throwing a discus. Hah they were only 4 contestants.

26) I wrote my first story when I was 10. All the characters were my classmates and the girl I didn't like was the evil witch.

27) I also wrote a 200 page story before. It was bullocks because I couldn't finish it.

28) If I didn't choose to become a writer, I would be a hair stylist.

29) All my close friends are Indian. I have no idea why.

30) I could go on until 100 but you would be bored to tears. So follow me on twitter @Kimmy_Walker if you wanna know more.

With love,
K.W

On point, JLaw.

Let's just put this out there. When a person is famous, the love from his or her fans can be great, but so does the hate and it could be even greater.


Let's talk about the most "overrated" celebrity in our world right now and who could that be none other than the one and only Jennifer Lawrence.

You might find this article a little biased because I am one of those fans. I admire her attitude as much as I enjoy her work but I'll try my best to keep this neutral.

I've read a couple of articles lately, talking about the hypocrisy of JLaw. One of the factors that really shocked me was how people reacted to the fact that she is skinny, therefore promoting the idea of that "being a size of 10 was okay" made her a two faced bitch.

LOL.

People, people. While you were busy pointing out each and every one of her mistakes, you missed out on the big picture. I salute her for being brave enough to come out and say that "No. Skinny isn't a goal. What's wrong with being fat" And just because she isn't obese, it doesn't make her statement any less valid.

During the Kate Moss era, girls all around the world used "Nothing tastes better than skinny feels" as their life motto, constantly cutting down on calorie and sugar intake that it indirectly harmed their bodies too. Did anyone think about that? I guess not. Which was why society has become so obsessed with the idea of being skinny is the only exception, that it discriminated many girls for not being able to fit in.

And how is that fair to everyone?

Jennifer, being one of the many stars in our generation to bravely go against that mindset has earned my full respect. Along with her weird and strange personality, it made her even more loveable because she proved that being different isn't wrong and as well as it worked for her, being different could also earn you the spotlight and as well as an Academy award.

Just to be clear, I have no hate towards Kate Moss. Her unique statement that sparked a trend worldwide isn't wrong either. It was her opinion and I have no rights to go against it. Being skinny is okay and so is being fat. If you want to work out and feel good about eating salads everyday, who are we to say you're wrong? Similarly, if you were born with a tastebud so adventurous that you love food with a passion, who is to say it is a crime?

People should never be discriminated or judged based on the way they look. Our shape and colour will never be as important as what's in our brains. Remember that. We don't have a say in how our face comes together before we were born so why should we even be ashamed of it?

That was JLaw's point. She believes that no matter what size you are, as long as you are human, you are entitled to the rights of any man.


K.W