Wednesday 10 December 2014

Appreciate What You Have Even If It's Not Gone

Humans, as perfect we like to think we are, we share a flaw and that is greed. We want so much of what we can and can't have. Greed drives us to do what we do every day, some say it's determination or passion. Whatever you think it is, I think we can all agree that greed to an extent is bad because it makes us selfish and self-centered.

(It's amusing how I speak of it as though I'm not part of this "human" category but let's be honest, at some point, we've said "I hate people/humans", and we never associated ourselves with it even though we make up part of it.)

Maybe you don't realise this often but when bad things happen, the first person we point fingers at is everyone else except ourselves. When things are going perfectly fine, the first person we are concerned with is again, ourselves. It's an appalling attitude because it shows how self-centered we are that we only always do things for our own benefit.

We've all had arguments with our parents at least a couple of times. And every time it gets heated, the things that we say become cruel and displeasing to the other. It's as though the thought wasn't processed in our brains before we said them. All this we do because we care so much for our ego, the constant need to prove ourselves right. And when it's all over, we'll tell our friends how much of a bitch he or she was, never once stopping to reflect or even consider how he or she might have felt about the mean things we said. We're so consumed by ourselves we become so ignorant towards other people's feelings.

When we're confronted by it, we pull that self-centered attitude again, saying things like "I can't believe she said this to me, why did she say that to me." Me, me, me, me everything. Obnoxious? Yes.

And even in the toughest of times, we don't realise how fortunate we are. While we're shouting at our mothers over something stupid, there is someone out there who has no mother to argue with. When we cry ourselves to sleep because we think our lives are falling apart, someone out there is crying themselves to sleep on a street. When we complain about how crap university classes are, how often do we realise that someone out there, with the equal brain capacity is digging through garbage to find food. All we care about is if we are being entertained enough in class, never realising that education IS a privilege not many people can afford.

I've studied in Singapore and I know the education system there is not exactly enjoyable but I've only just realised how lucky I am to have studied in a country where the government cares so much for their next generation and it's future.

We're constantly blabbering about how we don't like this or that or how shit our lives are, when someone out there is struggling everyday just to survive. And that's not even to have a comfortable house to live in, they are battling to keep their hearts beating as long as they can.

And if you're thinking to yourself that this does not concern you then you are a selfish human being. Because it does concern you, and learning to be grateful for what you have concerns everyone.

There are much bigger problems in this world and I'm not saying yours isn't one. But I hope you understand that by looking at what other people go through, it puts your problem into perspective. It's not always about you, and for once, please think for someone else as well.

If those living in a third-world country can wake up with a smile, I'm sure we are all privileged to do so much more.

Someone out there would do anything to be right where you are at this moment. But because you can't share it with them, at the very least, learn to appreciate its value more and more every day.



Love,
K.W

Saturday 6 December 2014

Be Honest To Yourself

A favourite phrase of mine back in the past would be "I don't need anyone", because it was an excuse I told people when I felt lonely. I said that to convince them as well as myself that I could be independent without anyone's help. But who was I fooling, me and everyone I told that to knew it was a big fat lie.

The ugly truth was quite the opposite, something someone with a massive pride like myself would never admit to.  I always wanted and needed someone and I still do. But the only difference is, I'm not afraid to show it, because the truth of the matter is, everyone does need a someone.

This someone I speak of, is your everything but at the same time, it does not confine to just "your significant other".  Because being single does not mean the someone spot in your heart is empty either, it's simply filled with many other people too.

I believe our everything is never just a person, it's definitely more than what we realise. The friend we go to when we have good news, the first person we call when our lives have just been turned upside down, the first person we ask for opinions on what outfit to wear on a first date, the first person we know that would trade the world for us. It's always the friends who are there, not just when it's convenient, but especially when it's not. The list could go on and on, because if I would to describe every person that mattered to me starting with "The friend who...",   this list would never end.

Being so far away from home made me realise how important these someones are and how oblivious I was to their existence, taking for granted that I will always have them around therefore not paying them much or any attention at all. It wasn't until a couple of days ago when I received my assignment marks. I was overjoyed with my results and the second I got back, I wanted to tell my mother and I did. As I waited hours for her reply, it occurred to me how much I needed to hear her say she was proud of me. It was as if her words of encouragement was the air I needed to breathe. I couldn't live without my mom. Who knew living independently could be such a painful yet fulfilling experience?

And it's not just parental support a person requires. I mean, think about all our friends. We need each and every one of them because they make us happy for different reasons. If I had knew this earlier, I probably wouldn't have pushed away so many friends because of my selfish mindset of not needing anyone.  I used to think showing emotions made a person weak and vulnerable but now, I've realised it doesn't. If anything, it's being honest, especially to myself.

Besides, what's the point in lying to ourselves anyway? If someone asks how I am,  I'll tell them I feel like crap when I do, and I feel good if I do. And I'll cry when I'm sad and laugh as fucking loud as I want when I'm happy. Why hold back when all we want is to live our lives to the fullest?

Saying that, I'm going to make sure I fucking will. And I'm starting by being honest to who I am.

Love,
Kimmy.