For some reason, I recalled laughing hysterically at the latter and also saying "Oh my god, what the fuck was I thinking. So I decided it would be a good idea to write a reply to my fourteen year old self, telling her Mr. Perfect 2010 was not so perfect after all and that she now hates cats with a passion.
1)so...i
wish my results this end of year is going to be full of As..i really wish that
i can go 3/1 next year...hahaha its very hard for me but i will try my hardest
and bestest!!i dun want my mum or dad telling me that i shouldn’t give excuses
or saying that i haven’t tried my best...*sigh* life is so hard...
2)
I want to be known for something i’m good at...I want people to envy me..i’m
not trying to get popular or anything but i just want to be known for who i am
and what i’m good at. Look at patricia,she’s so good in art,i envy her...so
much in fact.she was born with the talent to draw so well... and look at
me..yeah fine i can dance but among ten people only 3 knows that i actually
dance other than that i’m just another follower sarah can present and
sing,nona can sing and act..me nothing...
3)
i want to be a tv host when i grow up,i know i’m not pretty enough but i want
to try...it seems so fun being in front of a camera entertaining the whole
world.although you have to be interesting and funny to get people’s
attention,but i want to give it a shot..
4)
i wish daddy would buy me cats for my birthday
5)i
wish that Patrick would love me..somehow..two years already,nothing
happened..i’m actually so surprised that i’m not giving up on him...
6)i
wish to be a princess in my next life :D
7)i
wish for world peace
8)
I wish I was much taller :]
9)i
like fantasising about fairyland!
10)
I kind of want to be a racing driver when I grow up.
11)
hah I just read this over again, and I’ve accomplished no 1 yay!!! Oh yeah I’m
listening to ke$ha now… and I realize her songs are autotuned.
12)
Gosh, Beiber sounds like a girl. My next wish is to 4/1 next year. I wanna
score well for AMaths, and chemistry. MUST MUST.
13)
Hey Kimmy, this is you two years after this document was written. And I just
want to say, your English was terrible, I’m so glad we had that drastic
improvement. Can you believe it we’re going to Salford University to do
Creative Writing! And you should be grateful we achieved at least two of your
wishes. You got into 3/1 and 4/1 after all and secondary school turned out
awesome. You met great friends and even better friends in college, you would be
so proud being in my position now.
He didn’t love you back sadly. But
that’s okay. And to tell you the truth, even though it’s been 2 years, you’re
still not completely over him. You still think of him occasionally but not as
much as you used to. He still appears in your dreams every once in a while when
you least expect it, which is refreshing, at least you’re not up all night
thinking about him. We weren't dumped. We pinned up false hopes for
ourselves and that was the greatest disappointment of all. How I wish I could
go back in time and stop you from leading yourself on. He only saw you as a
classmate, nothing more than that. Although he did find our constant pursuit
quite attractive but I guess that’s just what he says when he needs an ego
booster. He’s a good guy Kimmy, just not the right one for us. I finally had
the confession I wanted. I told him everything, how we felt so foolish to be
running around, wearing our hearts on our sleeves. And like a gentleman, he
heard me out, which I very much appreciated. But don’t get me wrong, just
because he acknowledged our feelings, it doesn’t change his. We’re still
nothing but acquaintances to him. I guess you could say we ended whatever we
had on good terms. I no longer feel the sudden urge to speak to him like I used
to. I moved on. It took ages and it was painful but very worth it. My heart
aches when I read our old messages. And unfortunately for you, you will have to
deal with this sooner.
Kimberly Sarah Walker, you always used
to think not many people loved you but let me tell you this for a fact, it is
true, we never had the good looks or bubbly personality to pass off as prom
queen or Ms. Popular with a hot boyfriend. But I learned, we must never measure
our self worth according to the number of Instagram likes we have. We are indeed loved by a few, but the
love of a few are the most sincere and genuine and that is all you need for
now. It’s kept me going and I’m doing great. We don’t need a boyfriend to fill
our empty hearts, they were filled with greatness and courage all along.
Although it wouldn’t hurt to have a beau once in a while, but soon you will
realise that it would hurt more to start a relationship when you are not ready for one yourself.
You
are bold and independent. You don’t need a man to keep your life interesting.
You have the dreams of a naïve 5 year old and people will laugh at your efforts
for trying to change the world. But you tell them this, you have the undying
passion of Michelangelo, who suffered just to paint a fucking ceiling, you have the
courage and consistency of Barack Obama, who against all odds became the first
black President. Every idea seems stupid to those who don’t believe in it. And
you my friend, are a believer. And because you believe, you inspire, you pursue
and in due time, you will achieve.
Whenever
you’re feeling worthless, just remember these words. Take a leap of faith, you
never know where you might land. They have been helpful to me and to you too,
in the years to come.
We're unstoppable Kimmy. I believe in myself and you should too, soon.
PS. We fucking hate cats. World peace is bullshit. There's people getting beheaded somewhere in the Middle East, which is basically how we deal with things nowadays. And seriously fairyland? Grow some balls, you're not 5. You suck at go-karting too, so racing driver is a definite no.
So there you go, an original, unedited letter from yours truly.
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