First Week Of University

Having sat in a class full of creative writers on my first week of university was nothing but a terrifying experience. I say this because I was brought up in an Asian country, where English is not our main language. I have lived all my life in a place where plays are scarce and novels are gems. Here in England, as anyone would have guessed, is the complete opposite.

I can confidently say that all my course mates have immense knowledge on Shakespeare and all his plays whereas I literally know nothing about this man. Anyone in my position would be scared. Adapting to life in Salford is a struggle itself and feeling inferior to my own course mates barely made it easier.

I'm a competitive person by nature. Therefore, it's not a surprise that I have always been determined to come out on top in everything I do. We, fellow Asians, know that at some point in school, our confidence was dependant on our ranking in class. Or maybe it was just me, but nonetheless, that trait stuck with me. Sometimes, it served me well, but definitely not today.

Most of us, writers, share the same dream. To land a contract with a publishing firm and hope our novels make it to the big screens so that our bills, finances will be taken care of for the rest of our lives. With a hundred and fifty of us, who will actually fulfil that dream to make it out on top? With my lack of knowledge, I honestly felt as though I had lost the race without even starting.

I'll admit, I cried for hours, terrified at the thought of failing. I was lost and insecure. The only coherent words I could say were "I don't know", because it was true, I had no clue at all what I was doing in a class, learning ancient Japanese poems. I could feel myself distancing from my new found friends. They all shared this similar affection for novels and Literature, something I couldn't see in myself.

Thankfully, after hearing wise words from my old man and friends, I was starting to believe again and more importantly, regained the passion I temporarily lost.

We're all fighting our own battles. On some days, we'll win victoriously, on others, not so much. But if you ever feel like failing is the only option you have left, it is NOT.  If you ever find yourself crying because you feel worthless and incompatible, just breathe and tell yourself "Hang on, what can't I bring to the table?"

You ARE worth it.

And you know what? I haven't read every single book in the world but unlike everyone else, I'm here with a completely different purpose. My passion is not to write, read or over-analyse Shakespeare. I never understood any of his plays, but if it means having to do what I hate to enjoy what I love, then so be it. Because my passion is not to sell novels or write poetry, no. My passion is to inspire. Simply because words can.

Love,
K.W